My Son Said Pracel

How surprised I was that afternoon, coming home from work I have been made upset by the child alone , Ira .. How not, the dishes that have been shattered. Not to mention the rice in the pot is spilled, splattered everywhere. my son
"Goodness, Ira! What have you done?? "I snapped at him. He was just silent, shocked. And little by little, tiny grains of a tiny trickle from his eyes.
It's often my son who was seven years old it makes me upset. Of the dishes which are always solved, clothes in the closet that deleted, or edited, and waste of paper that always strewn no time I came home after work. If you already upset like that, then without another lengthy bed He then pulled his hands and buttocks. While he just whine and moan, without calling for help. Not because he did not want to ask for help, but since my son was unable to speak. My mother and my father was shocked when he learned I was pregnant three months outside of marriage. I have been impregnated by my lover myself, but instead, he is responsible instead he walked off without mercy at all. Mom and Dad after a long time can not bear disgrace my family who have been brought home. Eventually they would no longer consider me a child again. They then threw me out of the house. My heart is very sore at the time. My curses illegitimate child who was then my bladder. That's where all the hatred came from. my expulsion post from home, I will live in a small boarding fee payment I get from the wages of washing clothes. And during my pregnancy, I often tried to abort the baby's. I do not want this bastard child born to the world .Various way I do, from taking the drugs until sometimes I'm banging on my stomach. Please note, none of my neighbors know if I bear children outside marriage. Because I say to them that his father died not when age was three months pregnant. As strong as anything I tried to abort the baby, it turns out God had other plans. This child is still born into the world. But the situation was beyond surprise, his right leg shorter than his left leg. It turned out that my son was born in a state of disability. I'm ashamed to have illegitimate children with disabilities. Although none of my neighbors know, still I felt disgusted with him. However, I was forced to keep raising him with difficulty. The development of my son was perfectly normal until one day I know there is one thing that seemed odd. In addition to his right leg that grow abnormally, it turns out when the kids my age have not even fluently speak a single word mentioned bias. Since then I know, my son was in addition to defect also mute. I do not know, sometimes there is a regret for having given birth. Better to kill it was after my birth. When he was stepped on six years. Ira I put to one elementary school in this city. Although his performance was not too bad in school but I still can not accept it as my son. Maybe I'm too traumatized and hate with my past. How not, because here I illegitimate children expelled from the house, because this is the life of disabled children suffer like this. Until I have worked hard just to feed a child who is disabled and mute. Even I was too embarrassed to come to school every meeting between teachers and parents. As usual, at four o'clock in the afternoon I came home from a routine job. Arriving home hoping to find peace, but I could not believe what I saw. The bathroom was flooded by water coming from taps that may be left open by Ira. "Ira. What the hell is this? "I screamed as loud as possible. Then I find he inside the room, the room was empty. He was looking behind my house, remained nil. "Ira. Where are you ?!?!" I yelled louder again, but he never showed up. Finally I decided to look for neighbors house. And it's true, he was playing there. Without at length again, pull my hands by force. I do not care anymore with the gaze of the neighbors. My patience was completely exhausted this time. Arriving home, I hit it, I put a direct hit satisfied her into the bathroom which of course is still waterlogged. My son was trying to rebel, but a little strength was not how to face the devil who had penetrated in my mind. I see he just whined and struggled. If He could spoke, just maybe he will cry out for help or even cursed and condemned I condemn this cruel. Once satisfied venting my anger at him. I also dropped my sleeping place, either angry or tired because it runs out it had just come home tired from work I will fall asleep. Around six-thirty I woke up. "My goodness. I have not had time to clear up. "As soon as I get out of bed and begin cleanup. New times this is my house seems the most messy. Dirty kitchen, living room scattered a lot of paper from my notebook that I bought with great difficulty, but simply doodling He then throw it away. i take paper one by one while my lips prolonged sputter. But my curiosity will arise what was scrawled by my son in the papers. I will then open one of the paper that I picked up. And I could not believe what I see and read. An article from a random elementary school children who are disabled and mute. Mother, I'm sorry if all this naughty Ira Ira also sorry, already disillusioned with the state for the mother of Ira But mother, please do not beat Ira, Ira appointment will not be naughty and according to the same mother Mother, Ira wanted to talk to mothers But every lip Ira Ira would open, it felt so sick the whole head Ira Mother, if God permit Ira to talk Ira wanted to say to the mother What Ira was very fond of mother Suddenly, as if there bulkhead is tightened in my throat after reading it. It feels like there is a creeping parasite spiked liver. I dunno, rivers of tears were unstoppable make a waterfall rolling down her cheeks. "Ira, where Ira?" I woke up and immediately look for it. I just remembered, a few hours ago I was locked in the bathroom. "Ira!" I scream, until the neighbors over, shocked over to my house. I hung limp bathroom to see the child alone unconscious. His face was so pale, his body was very cold. Now I just realized, that my actions are very cruel to him. I realized, all that happens is nothing to do with Ira, let alone to blame. And now there's one thing I believe. Maybe he was handicapped, maybe he was mute. But I believe, He is able to speak. Talking to her heart. Not just one word, but a thousand words. Arriving in the hospital, Ira immediately taken to the emergency room. I waited outside. Seconds passed into minutes, minutes ran to an hour. Until finally the door opened, a doctor came out. "How is my child a state dock, Ira okay right?" I hunt down the question to the doctor, the tears continue to flood my cheeks. But the doctor remained silent. "Doc, what happened? Please answer dock!" i shakes my right the doctor's shoulder, hoping the doctor gives an answer that is able to calm my nerves. The doctor just sighed and shook his head. I limp helpless. Tears spilled increasingly flooding the cheek. "I'm sorry mother, Ira." And all looked dark to me. I awoke from my sleep, but when I opened my eyes I did not realize was in my room. This is just a small room with a barred door. Whether, how many years I stay here. I can no longer remember the date, month, let alone years. All I know, it feels very long time. A woman dressed like a nun or a nurse and then open the bars that locked me and pulled me out of the room. I saw a lot of people who behave strangely here. There are rocking themselves, there is a silent, statuesque, and there is yelling incoherently. And I realized, now I will be one part of them.